Tag Archives: supermarket

by | March 8, 2011

J.G. Wentworth Commercials are LAME

Sorry JG, but your commercials are lame, and they went from bad to worse with the addition of subtitles. One has to figure that you had the subtitles added in because no one could understand the lyrics to your “magnum opus.”

The entire premise is lame. People riding on a bus singing an opera piece with a guy dressed as a viking is funny, but its seems to not really convey your message of getting an advance loan on a structured settlement.

I would die laughing at these commercials if it were 1983, I was sitting in my apartment with a beer in one hand and a bong in the other, but I am an old geezer now, too old to smoke weed and I don’t like to laugh out of fear of generating a heart attack or some other affliction. (Just kidding)

I have a better idea for a commercial JG, and if you like it you can use it free of charge.

The scene opens with a couple in their late forties or early fifties. They are pulling in a gas station in their car to fill up.

The camera flashes a close up of the gas pump where the pump displays the price per gallon as $18.99.9 cents a gallon.

Then JG, your voice comes under them as they are filling up their car and says “Have a structured settlement and need cash now? Call JG Wentworth.”

Just as you finish the sentence and phone number, the older couple’s car is full and the gas pump stops, the camera flashes back to the pump where it just cost the couple $647.00 to fill their tank.

It would be perfect. You can make it a series of commercials where the same couple go to the supermarket and buy a 40 dollar loaf of bread and a 80 dollar pack of bologna.

Just a thought. It would be closer to reality, because most of us are broke because of the incredibly high cost of living and the fact that we pay about half of what we earn in taxes.

Keep up the good work JG Wentworth. The commercials are funny, but confusing.

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by | July 1, 2010

Boulder Colorado shoppers seeing leprechauns

BOULDER, Colo. — Police responding to reports of a man leaping between cars in a Colorado supermarket parking lot didn’t need a detailed description of the suspect.

Boulder Police Sgt. Fred Gerhardt says witnesses on Wednesday reported a man was dressed as a leprechaun and pretending to shoot at people with his fingers.

Witnesses told police the man may have made obscene gestures.

Gerhardt says they likely called police because the man “was acting bizarre.”

Officers did not find anyone matching the description of the leprechaun.

Gerhardt says this is the first time Boulder police have received a complaint about a leprechaun.

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by | May 20, 2010

Washington Rape suspect deported 4 times

You just gotta love our government. Here is yet another victim of illegal immigration. Perhaps a better way to look at it is that she is yet another victim of the federal government, who refuses to do anything to stop illegal immigration. JD

EDMONDS, Wash. – The man accused of raping a woman behind an Edmonds grocery store has been deported at least four times in the past 15 years, reports KIRO Radio.

An officer responding to a woman’s cry for help Sunday night found 46-year-old Jose Madrigal on top of the woman and arrested him.

According to court documents, the woman told police that Madrigal had followed her and offered her $35 for sex, but she said no. She said Madrigal then forced her into the bushes on the north side of the store and raped her.

Documents say Madrigal told police “Sometimes we have control in our brains, but we make mistakes.”

The 28-year-old Edmonds woman was treated at a hospital.

Snohomish County prosecutors have charged Madrigal in district court with second degree rape. He is also is being held for the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.

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by | February 14, 2010

Valentines Day Sucks

I’m a romantic guy, but man do I hate Valentines Day. Its a useless day where a man has to bend over backward to please the woman he loves. The way I have to figure it, if you need a special day to show the person you are with that you love them, then you are doing something wrong every other day.

Valentines Day is just another scam created by the greeting card industry to sell cards. We have all been duped into believing that if we don’t do something special for the one we love on this day, we are somehow less in love with our significant other than the next guy.

Women are the primary driver of this notion. I have a friend at work who was telling me just yesterday that his wife, a cashier in a supermarket, keeps telling him how all these men are coming through her line and telling her about all the special things that they intend to do with their wives on Valentines Day.

I told him, “Look, I have seen your wife and trust me when I say this. These morons are only saying that because they want to bang your wife.”

I also told him that she is only telling you this as to make him jealous so that he will go out and do something special for her.

That leads me to yet another interesting observation. When I was married, it was just expected of me to make a big deal of taking my wife out to dinner and buying her flowers and the candy and blah blah blah.

From her, all I would receive is a card. A stinking lousy greeting card. That was it. Here I am shelling out eighty dollars for flowers, a hundred dollars on dinner, a box of candy and all the other crap I would get her, and all I got was a greeting card?

I used to believe that it was just me that got ripped off on Valentines Day. But then I started asking my friends, “So what did you do on Valentines Day?”

Invariably the responses were all the same. Dinner, flowers, movie, cards, etc. I would then ask what their wives did for them and with the exception of one guy who said his wife gave him an unmentionable sex act, the answer would be “Oh she got me a card.”

Its the same thing on Mothers Day, yet another scam perpetrated on the American male and propagated by the greeting card industry.

On Mothers Day, men are forced to buy gifts and take a woman to dinner that ISN’T THEIR MOTHER! My ex wife isn’t my mom. Why the hell should I have to get her anything for mothers day?

But every year, there I am in line with all the other saps, pissed off that the line is so long and pissed off that I have to buy this crap in the first place. But God help me if I don’t buy her something.

Why? Because then I have to hear two weeks of crap from her, followed by having to hear her on the phone telling her mom, her sisters, her friends, the mailman, the gardener, the pool guy, the friggin bum at the quickie mart about how her man got her nothing for Valentine Day or Mothers Day.

Then the chorus of friends wives ridiculing me when I see them and looking at me with disdain. Who needs this shit?

And trying to outdo your family and friends? Geez, there’s another pressure cooker that shaves years off of a mans life.

We all wonder why women live longer than men? Its because of Valentines Day and Mothers Day and the pressure brought to bear in the form of outdoing your friends and family with a bigger, better gift idea, all with the hope of getting that kick ass greeting card in return, and the remote possibility of getting laid.

I guess there is one positive. Its good for the economy. It puts people to work and . . . wait a minute. The flowers I bought were grown in Mexico, the chocolate is made in China and the greeting card was printed in India.

Never mind. I guess there really is no benefit. JD

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