Earthquake Rattles Fontana, Inland Empire

A small earthquake has rattled the San Bernardino area, with a preliminary magnitude of 3.2. The temblor, centered one mile north of Fontana, was the latest of several quakes to hit the area in recent months.

No damage was reported, but people called the police like retarded red headed step children to ask the dumb questions like “Did we just have an earthquake?”

The police responded, “No, you just weigh too much” and the always hysterical “No you just have gas.”