Man tries to hold up gas station with caulking gun

This guy must be a moron. He not only tried to rob a gas station with a caulking gun, but he was so stupid that he picked up a man he thought was a woman and still lives with his mommy. Worlds dumbest criminals should feature this guy on their show.

Police have issued an arrest warrant for a man accused of injuring a gas station clerk while attempting to rob him — with a caulk gun.

The suspect fled the scene in the company of a transgender prostitute he’d picked up earlier in the evening, according to an affidavit issued by the Travis County Sheriff’s Office.

The affidavit says the clerk, Johnnie Limuel, 68, told police that a man dressed in women’s clothing entered the Speedy Stop on East 51st Street around 4 a.m. June 7 and bought a pack of cigarettes and $5 worth of gas, the affidavit said.

Just after he walked out to a red pickup truck at a gas pump, another man — who police later identified as Jose Alejandro Romero, 17 — walked into the store with a caulk gun partially visible under a white t-shirt, the affidavit said.

The man pointed the caulk gun at Limuel and demanded money, the affidavit said.
Limuel told police he thought it was a joke when he saw the caulk gun, but the assailant continued to demand money, the affidavit said.

The man struck Limuel with the caulk gun after he could not open the cash drawer, the affidavit said, then Limuel struck back, hitting the man with a plastic trash can.

The assailant left the store without any money and sped off in the red pickup truck, the affidavit said.

The other man, later identified as Kenneth Williams, a transgender prostitute, told police that Romero had picked him up from the street before the attempted robbery, the affidavit said.

Williams spent the night driving around with Romero as he got money from several locations including his mobile home to buy and smoke crack, the affidavit said.

It was during this time that Williams suggested they stop at a gas station, because he wanted to buy cigarettes, the affidavit said.

Police confirmed Romero’s identity yesterday when they visited his mobile home where his mother also lives, the affidavit said.

Police have not arrested Romero, who has been charged with aggravated robbery, the affidavit said.

2 Comments

Filed under Amateur Hour, Ball Scratchers, Breaking News, Comedy, Nadcicles, Nitwits, Stupid Human Tricks

2 Responses to Man tries to hold up gas station with caulking gun

  1. Marc

    Hey JD, he was just trying to keep Austin Weird…lol. This guy is an idiot and now he's facing felony charge.

    • I know man. I have many friends down your way, and they tend to describe Austin as Hollywood east. Clearly these people have never been to Tampa Bay. JD

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