Great stuff here. Obama stammer’s his way through a Q & A with Chicago White Sox commentator and former Sox pitcher Rob Dibble after a disastrous opening day pitch. Obama was not able to name a single White Sox player. Isn’t Obama from Chicago?
Daily Archives: April 6, 2010
Jon Gosselin thinks “Dancing with the Stars” is damaging his kids, thanks to Kate Gosselin … and Jon now wants primary custody as well as spousal support from his ex … TMZ has learned.
Jon’s new lawyer, former assistant U.S. Attorney Anthony F. List, tells TMZ he’s going to court to ask for primary physical custody. List calls Kate, “an absentee mom,” which he says is no surprise to anyone.
List expects to use “DWTS” as evidence that Kate does not spend “quality time with the 8 kids.”
List also thinks Jon is getting screwed in the child support department, claiming “$20,000 a month is ridiculous.”
In addition to primary custody, List says he’s considering asking the judge to reverse the support obligation and make Kate pay Jon. He did not specify the amount.
Every once in a while, I like to point out how incredibly difficult it is to traverse the highways and byways of the greater Los Angeles area. The way people drive and behave while behind the wheel has always fascinated me.
The following are a few complaints and “do’s and don’ts” while driving around in Southern California.
1. A turn signal does not grant you carte blanche to change lanes on the freeway. This is the most common misconception while driving in LA. People routinely put on their signal and begin to move into your lane without giving a look to see you driving right next to them. Invariably, this causes you to slam on the brakes and get rear ended.
2. At traffic signals, red lights mean stop. They do not mean slow down and take a gander at who you are about to cut off. This is particularly troublesome at intersections where people are making right turns. I cannot count the number of times that I am driving through an intersection on a green light and have a car make a right turn in front of me without stopping at their red light.
3. You are not the most important person on the road. This is a huge problem here in LA. People drive about as if where they need to be or are traveling to takes priority over everyone around them. This is a big problem with people that drive higher end cars like Mercedes Benz and BMW’s. A word of warning. Watch out for the guy in the beat up old piece of crap that has nothing to lose.
4. The shoulder on the freeway is not a special lane reserved just for you. In traffic accidents, the shoulders are the only way for EMERGENCY VEHICLES to get to the accident that’s causing the traffic jam in the first place. But there are these really selfish son’s of bitches that simply blow past everyone else in the emergency lanes. This creates even more of a problem, because these emergency lanes usually come to an end at some point. Then these rat bastards have to force their way back into the traffic lanes, creating even more of a traffic jam.
5. The right lanes are for slower traffic. There are signs all over the freeways that say “SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT.” Not a day goes by that I come up on a car or two in the left or “fast lane” going 50 miles an hour in a 65. These people will not move either. You can tailgate, honk your horn and flash your high beams, but they are married to the lane and will not give it up. Usually if you do any of these things, they will give you a brake check or the middle finger. Get the hell out of the way!
6. When hitting Disneyland or any other parking lot and you see a car backing out of a spot and you see the gap behind them closing, you don’t floor it and slip through the gap. This happens to me every day. The polite thing to do is to stop and let the person back out because this person cannot see you coming. If the person backing out were to hit you, it would be your fault for not stopping. If it were me that hit you, your concern would not be who was liable, but whether or not you have health and dental insurance because your ass will being going to the hospital.
7. Road rage. One of my favorites. I get people from time to time that cut me off and it was an honest mistake. I just wave and continue along down the road. But God help you if you make the same mistake. I have had guns pulled on me on the freeway. I have had people race around me and slam on their brakes. I have been followed off the freeway and had to get out of my car and threaten to beat the shit out of people that are completely enraged. Fascinating.
8. The freeway is not a trash can. Put your trash in the proper place. I see this phenomenon every day. People simply discard their garbage out the window without giving it a second thought. Now it might just be me, but the majority of these people seem to be recent immigrants to America. I have seen beer cans, cigarette packs, half eaten food and ashtrays simply dumped out the window. Its disgusting.
9. Fall Guys. “The Fall Guy” was a 1070′s TV show starring Lee Majors. The premise of the show was that Majors was a stunt man and got into and out of trouble every week. You are not a stunt man. Your car cannot drive on two wheels, your motorcycle was not made to do wheelies down the freeway, and its not cool to cause spin outs on the freeway. Cut that shit out fool. You are not the fall guy and you don’t survive plunges off of cliffs.
10. My all time favorite. Cell phones and makeup. Now I know I am going to catch a lot of crap about this, but ladies, putting on makeup is supposed to be done in the bathroom, not on the freeway. I’m 48 years old, and if I had 100 dollars for every accident I have witnessed where a woman was putting on makeup instead of driving her car, I could retire. I have seen women with their phone on their shoulder, pressed to their ear while putting on makeup. Its amazing.
Men, you are not supposed to shave in your car. I see men all the time with their electric shavers driving along all over the freeway, talking on their phones while shaving, reading the paper while shaving, Texting while shaving and driving and yelling at the kids in the back seat, all of this while driving down the freeway.
Here is a novel concept. Get out of bed earlier! Shave at home, Sasquatch. The rest of the people on the road can’t help that you have more facial hair than Bigfoot. Stop it already.
Ladies, fifteen minutes of extra sleep is not worth your life. Get your lazy asses out of bed a few minutes earlier and do your makeup. And whats up with the open mouth while applying your makeup? Is that like a coordination issue? I don’t get it. Plus, I have some news for you. For a lot of you the makeup isn’t helping that much anyway, so just go without it.
With any luck I will get to work on time today, but if I don’t I am sure it will be because of some lady with an eyeliner pencil stuck in her eye along the center divider or some dude with a half shaved face. Damn . . .
Can you imagine trying to disguise a dead guy to get him onto an airplane? Well that’s what these two women did in Liverpool, England. Two women have been arrested for trying to push a dead relative strapped to a wheelchair onto a Berlin-bound flight at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.
Police were called when staff at the easyJet check-in desk became suspicious about the elderly man who was partially hidden behind sunglasses and did not appear to be moving very much.
They discovered that the would-be passenger, understood to be a 91-year-old German national, was not asleep as his companions insisted but had been dead for some time.
Officers arrested the two women, aged 44 and 66, on suspicion of failing to give notification of a death.
It is believed that the couple, who had travelled to the airport from Oldham, in Greater Manchester, were attempting to evade the complex and costly process of repatriating human remains abroad.
The coroner was today waiting for the results of the post mortem examination being carried out in Liverpool but police sources suggested that it was likely to show the man died earlier this week from natural causes.
A spokeswoman for John Lennon Aiport, said: “I have never heard of anything like this before. It is a bit of a strange one to be honest.”
It is believed that the women set out on Saturday morning. They successfully managed to get the body into a taxi and to the airport. The driver is said to have been left “upset and devastated” by the experience.
At the airport, the dead man was manhandled into the wheelchair and sunglasses placed over his lifeless eyes. When tentative inquiries were made about the man’s health, his companions insisted he was merely sleeping.
The couple wheeled the dead man across the airport concourse to the easyJet check-in desk where, initially, staff were concerned for the passenger’s health.
A police spource said: “They were just concerned for the man. They went to speak to him and realised something was wrong”.
Further investigation confirmed that he had been dead on arrival at the airport.
Officers from Merseyside Police arrested the two women who were questioned and later released on police bail. A spokesman said that the exact circumstances of the death were still being investigated but foul play is not believed to have been involved.
Bodies being repatriated by air are required to be contained inside hermetically-sealed zinc-lined coffins and kept in the cargo hold for the duration of the journey. The process has to be accompanied by the requisite paperwork.
A spokeswoman for Rowland Brothers, a funeral directors which specialise in the field, said: “I have not heard of anything like this before. It is most bizarre. I am outraged that they would think they could get away with it.
“There are rules and regulations to adhere to and documentation to complete before you can transport human remains to a foreign country. Germany is not particularly a difficult country but you still have to have the correct documentation.”
A spokesman for Greater Manchester Police said: “At 11am on Saturday 3 April 2010, police at Liverpool John Lennon airport were alerted to the death of a 91-year-old man in the terminal building.
“Two women aged 41 and 66 were arrested on suspicion of failing to give notification of death. They have been released on bail until 1 June 2010. The coroner has been informed and police are continuing with their inquiries”.
A spokesman for the airport, which remained open throughout the incident, said: “We are co-operating with police in their investigation.”
A spokeswoman for easyJet said: “Two female passengers arrived at Liverpool John Lennon Airport to check in for the EZY 7223 flight to Berlin with an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair.
“On arrival at the airport, staff were immediately concerned about his health and the first aid team were called. It was then discovered the passenger was, in fact, deceased and the police were called. The two female passengers were subsequently arrested and this is now subject to a police investigation.”