I’m a romantic guy, but man do I hate Valentines Day. Its a useless day where a man has to bend over backward to please the woman he loves. The way I have to figure it, if you need a special day to show the person you are with that you love them, then you are doing something wrong every other day.
Valentines Day is just another scam created by the greeting card industry to sell cards. We have all been duped into believing that if we don’t do something special for the one we love on this day, we are somehow less in love with our significant other than the next guy.
Women are the primary driver of this notion. I have a friend at work who was telling me just yesterday that his wife, a cashier in a supermarket, keeps telling him how all these men are coming through her line and telling her about all the special things that they intend to do with their wives on Valentines Day.
I told him, “Look, I have seen your wife and trust me when I say this. These morons are only saying that because they want to bang your wife.”
I also told him that she is only telling you this as to make him jealous so that he will go out and do something special for her.
That leads me to yet another interesting observation. When I was married, it was just expected of me to make a big deal of taking my wife out to dinner and buying her flowers and the candy and blah blah blah.
From her, all I would receive is a card. A stinking lousy greeting card. That was it. Here I am shelling out eighty dollars for flowers, a hundred dollars on dinner, a box of candy and all the other crap I would get her, and all I got was a greeting card?
I used to believe that it was just me that got ripped off on Valentines Day. But then I started asking my friends, “So what did you do on Valentines Day?”
Invariably the responses were all the same. Dinner, flowers, movie, cards, etc. I would then ask what their wives did for them and with the exception of one guy who said his wife gave him an unmentionable sex act, the answer would be “Oh she got me a card.”
Its the same thing on Mothers Day, yet another scam perpetrated on the American male and propagated by the greeting card industry.
On Mothers Day, men are forced to buy gifts and take a woman to dinner that ISN’T THEIR MOTHER! My ex wife isn’t my mom. Why the hell should I have to get her anything for mothers day?
But every year, there I am in line with all the other saps, pissed off that the line is so long and pissed off that I have to buy this crap in the first place. But God help me if I don’t buy her something.
Why? Because then I have to hear two weeks of crap from her, followed by having to hear her on the phone telling her mom, her sisters, her friends, the mailman, the gardener, the pool guy, the friggin bum at the quickie mart about how her man got her nothing for Valentine Day or Mothers Day.
Then the chorus of friends wives ridiculing me when I see them and looking at me with disdain. Who needs this shit?
And trying to outdo your family and friends? Geez, there’s another pressure cooker that shaves years off of a mans life.
We all wonder why women live longer than men? Its because of Valentines Day and Mothers Day and the pressure brought to bear in the form of outdoing your friends and family with a bigger, better gift idea, all with the hope of getting that kick ass greeting card in return, and the remote possibility of getting laid.
I guess there is one positive. Its good for the economy. It puts people to work and . . . wait a minute. The flowers I bought were grown in Mexico, the chocolate is made in China and the greeting card was printed in India.
Never mind. I guess there really is no benefit. JD