Photo of 'Fruit of the Jihad' underwear worn by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on his Christmas mission to Detroit. What some jihadists won't do to find a virgin.

Guest correspondent Joe Pyloric here.  Jock Strap Jihad – has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?

There is a tragic syndrome that is inexplicable and occurs in otherwise healthy infants.  It is called failure to thrive.  It seems we have a national case of it at the moment.

Case #1.  On Christmas Day, a known Islamic extremist was allowed to board a plane to the U.S.  He was carrying a bomb.

Case #2.  A half a world away, the Central Intelligence Agency was attempting to presumably convince a terrorist operative to spy against his cause.  He was allowed onto an American military base without being searched.  Well inside the compound, he detonated the vest-bomb he was wearing, killing himself and seven Americans.

What is wrong with us?  I have a harder time entering a bank where I live than apparently either of the above Muslim extremists with deadly intent had.

To continue to thrive, we must adopt certain mindsets and behaviors.  Or else we might as well surrender now and bow down our collective heads to be severed from our bodies.  It would be an ironic way to die if we fail to use our heads in contemplating how to prepare and defend against our enemy.

Is it so common for known and suspected terrorists to board U.S. bound planes that not a single eyebrow is raised?  Or does it fall in the category of “that ain’t my job,” or “I’m not going to risk making the wrong decision.”  Maybe we need to take some risks in combating this enemy.  Not necessarily major risks, just common-sense ones.  Such as searching a known wild-card before entering a U.S. compound wherein intelligence operations may be discussed.  Was anyone thinking?  If they were, it was certainly not about what could possibly go wrong here.

Maybe we were just trying to impress the operative with how cool and friendly we are as a country.  He must have been laughing his ass off inside.  Certainly he never imagined getting all the way to the center of the compound, into the briefing room, before he detonated his IED.  Success for him would have been taking himself out and perhaps wounding a couple of infidels at the main gate in the process.

The Nigerian bomber perhaps had similar thoughts.  He may have thought that he would get to the security checkpoint before his crotch-rocket was discovered.  After the authorities released him, he could report back on how he was discovered, what procedures were used, etc.  BUT NO!  “Welcome on board, sir, please take your seat and fasten your seat belt, we will be departing shortly.”  He must have been amazed – he was actually going to have to try and detonate the thing.  A long time to think about whether he enjoyed having those nads or not.  The thought of actually having to spend time in Detroit was probably enough to push him over the edge.

Comedy acts usually work up to the headliner, in this case Sec. Napolitano, who declared that the system worked!  The jihadists must enjoy the laughs on CNN much more than Comedy Central.  It worked, bullshit.

We don’t want to offend, we should supplicate ourselves before our enemies, apologizing for any past or perceived sins against their race, religion, or behaviors against us.  Let’s all just get along.

For the brain trust in the intelligence community, it doesn’t look like that approach is working.  When we are nice to them, we are just not getting asked out for beers after work.  How could this not be working?

For the comfortable in America, we seem to forget that the jihadists are now extracting revenge from seven and eight hundred year old memories, coupled with current events.  The jihadists don’t schedule meetings on sensitivity training or discipline those who may use a little too much force in Akbarring Allah.  They don’t even understand that we all just want to get along.

Anything worth having is worth defending, because sure as history itself, someone will try to come along and walk all over you.  Or blow up your meeting or your airplane.

But our whole basis is we are convinced that we can win wars against an indigenous enemy on their home turf, and fighting by rules we have approved and imposed without consulting them.  We want to be kinder, gentler, blow up city blocks with drones, while they prefer the Headline News approach, failing to subscribe to any rules, succeeding with every ka-boom.  Some are headliners, others just put a 19 year old U.S. soldier in a bed for rest of his life, his brains turned to jello.

If we can’t be intelligent in our foreign policy, let’s at least try to be smart in how we manage the enemy.

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AT&T announced Thursday that it is ending its endorsement deal with the scandal-ridden golfer, even though the “multi-year” contract was only signed in early 2009. An AT&T logo had appeared on Woods’s golf bag, and he and the company had several links through his charitable foundation and AT&T-branded golf tournaments.

Consulting company Accenture has already ditched the philandering athlete, and Gillette has played down its relationship with Woods in advertisements and packaging. Other companies, like Pepsi, Nike and Electronic Arts, have either said they’re sticking by Woods or remained mum.

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Mike Tyson is a free man. Mike Tyson will not be prosecuted for allegedly punching a photog at Los Angeles International Airport.

The L.A. City Attorney officially rejected the case today, citing “insufficient evidence.”

Tyson was arrested last month for battery after a bloody confrontation with a paparazzo outside the United terminal at LAX. Tyson claimed the photog was harassing him, his wife and child.

The photographer was taken to the hospital and stitched up.

The City Attorney also declined to file charges against the photographer.

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Obama and the liberal Oz

Joe Biden, Brack Obama, Janet Napolitano and Nancy Pelosi star in “The Wizard of Ass.”

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HONOLULU — A Honolulu television station is reporting that conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has been taken to a hospital with chest pains.

KITV reported Wednesday that paramedics responded to a call at 2:41 p.m. from the Kahala Hotel and Resort where Limbaugh is vacationing.

The station, citing unnamed sources, said paramedics treated Limbaugh and took him to The Queen’s Medical Center in serious condition.

Queen’s spokeswoman N. Makana Shook says the hospital is unable to comment on the report.

Television station KHON quoted unidentified sources saying Limbaugh was taken from the hotel in an ambulance.

Limbaugh was seen golfing at Waialae Country Club earlier this week. The country club is next to the Kahala Hotel and Resort.

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ABC affiliate KITV in Hawaii is reporting that conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh has been taken to a Honolulu area hospital in serious condition.

Paramedics were called to the Kahala hotel where Limbaugh was staying at 2:41p.m. Hawaii time, the radio host reportedly had chest pains.

According to the report Limbaugh was staying at the hotel for the holidays.

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...and all airline passengers will receive a rectal exam, which Kevin Jennings says is done like this...

Guest correspondent Joe Pyloric here.

OK, it’s almost the New Year.  Since I have lived far longer than I, or anyone else, would have ever imagined, I have decided against resolutions and the like.  Instead, I will try to continue to hammer away at blatant stupidity, particularly when overlain with naïveté.  As age continues to accumulate on me, I appreciate more and more Richard Pryor’s comment, “You know, you just don’t see a whole lotta young wise men.”

For today’s rambling, I thought I would take on the issue of airline security, particularly given the events of late.  For those of you who are so numbed by the news media that you didn’t notice all the fuss about an angry young Nigerian radical muslim who duct taped a bomb to his balls, then tried to detonate it over Detroit, of all cities, this is for you.

First of all, why Detroit?  Who would notice even if Detroit were destroyed?  The place looks like it has already been bombed out.  It is the sick sculpture of what happens when only the left wing flaps.  A true city in decay, and one that speaks to the failure of entitlement programs.

Back to the airplane, what was the bomber thinking?  Try to get your head around this for a minute.  One of his rewards would have been to be able to hook up with the 72 virgins, right?  So he tries to blow his balls off.  He must have missed a few lessons at martyr school, or was still angry with Daddy about blowing the whistle on him.

But the system worked, proclaimed gender-confused Sec. Napolitano.  How?  A known extremist was allowed to board a plane to the U.S. with some testicular TNT super-glued to his sack.  The major thing that worked was a Dutch passenger who jumped his smelly muslim ass, and with the help of a stewardess, extinguished his genital bonfire and subdued him.  Janet, how and when did the system work?  I know, I know, later she changed her tune when the world was astounded that she made such a stupid statement to begin with.

So here is my proposal for increased airline safety.

1.  If you are on ANY suspected terrorist list, you don’t get on ANY plane.  You take the bus or walk.

2.  Bring back profiling.  Please, bring back profiling.  If you are a middle-eastern male, under the age of thirty, one of the conditions of a ticket purchase is that you agree to have a low-powered rectal bomb inserted by security just before you board the plane.  Crew members will have a remote control device that will detonate the bomb if deemed necessary.  These devices will be configured so as to only endanger those butt-plugged individuals, and would probably not even wake up the passenger next to them.

3.  Keep X-raying luggage and carry-on stuff, but make your rules a little more intelligent.  Such as not letting lighters on the plane.  Is there any need for them while on board?

4.  Develop a work-release program for local prison inmates, and let them search passengers for concealed weapons.  These guys know how to make a lethal device out of a Styrofoam Big Mac container, so they should certainly be able to figure out what the bad guys might be holding and where.  Airport security personnel are a lot like prison guards, and neither of them has shown much proficiency at finding weapons.

5.  Pat everyone down before boarding the plane.  It’s not debasing, and some may even enjoy it.  All the polls show that travelers are all for making the skies safer, so pat everyone down and do away with all the stupid hi-tech stuff that doesn’t work.

6.  Put more security on the people who search luggage downstairs.  I don’t know how many bombs they find, but they sure have managed to lose (steal) a lot of my stuff when they go rifling through my bags.  Maybe pat them down before they leave work.

7.  Make everyone take off their shoes before boarding, put them in a big bag in the cargo hold.  It would be more comfortable, and the cabin air would have a fresher smell.

Just a few ideas from Joe.

But seriously, what was the deal with imposing the “higher level security measures” for three whole days right after the Ball Bomber tried to make Detroit ugly?  Things like not being able to leave your seat for an hour before landing.  With all the changes in altitude, that is the precise time period when everyone needs to empty their bladder and bowels after an 11 hour transatlantic flight.  And no blankets or pillows an hour before landing.  Seriously.  Just because this cretin decided to use that time period to play ‘Great Balls of Fire,’ doesn’t mean the next JM (Jihad Martyr) wouldn’t pick a different time slot.

The knee-jerk reactions of our security geniuses are truly impressive, much like a Chinese fire drill after every near-miss.  Remember, they are not called ‘intelligent agents.’  And they show little intelligence.  From comments like, “The system worked,” to front line people who take great pleasure in insulting and harassing virtually everyone with impunity.   We know that if we say anything, our trip may suddenly end in the interrogation room with Vlad the Impaler smiling while putting on his latex glove for the cavity search.

Airline security is terrible.  There can be no argument when a listed radical muslim is allowed to board a plane with a bomb strapped to Mr. Happy.  But our enemy is no fool.  They know the economic impact of even a single event like this and the ripple effect that occurs through the airline industry, the stock market, and the traveling public.  Perhaps the airlines should dust off some of those signs left over from times past that say, “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.”  And mean it.  I can’t remember anything in the Bill of Rights that even remotely comes close to saying that a business must accommodate all those who wish to destroy us infidels.  I know a guy who has a pizza restaurant, and when a customer gets obnoxious, he tells them, “Getdafukoutahere.  Don’t come back.”  It works.

But first, howsabout we get someone who has a clue to head Homeland Security?  Someone who just maybe, perhaps has a little bit of background and experience in the matter instead of a payback for campaign work.  Maybe?

Happy New Year

Feliz Ano Nuevo

Sawadee Pi Mai

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Obama the dictator

A suicide bomber wearing an explosive vest struck a forward operating base in eastern Afghanistan late Wednesday, causing an unknown number of casualties, a U.S. military official said.

The bomber attacked Forward Operating Base Chapman in Khost province.

It was unknown whether American civilian personnel were killed in the attack, but there were no U.S. military personnel killed, said Col. Wayne Shanks, a spokesman for the NATO-led International Security Assistance Force.

“What I can confirm is that there were no U.S. military killed,” he said, speaking by phone from Kabul.

CNN reported that the suicide bomber walked into either the dining facility or the base gym, and that the casualty toll ranged from five to nine people.

Shanks said he could not confirm those numbers, and it was unclear how many had been killed or injured. Initial reports on the incident remained sketchy, he said.

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photo of Tiger Woods partying with Rachel Uchitel

Is Tiger Woods shacking up with his No. 1 kitten?

The scandal-rocked pro golfer has been spotted in Palm Beach, Fla., with none other than alleged mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, sources told Entertainment Tonight.

The reported sighting comes just weeks after Woods announced on Dec. 11 that he was taking a break from professional golf to “focus my attention on being a better husband, father and person.”

Woods and Uchitel were rumored to be holding hands as they mixed with about 300 guests at a party in a private mansion in Palm Beach.

They were also spotted partying together in the ritzy enclave, at the Everglades Club, on Saturday night, Entertainment Tonight reports.

Some sources went even further, telling ET that the rumored paramours were living together aboard Woods’ yacht, Privacy, which is reportedly docked in Palm Beach.

The Daily News reported last week that Uchitel, 34, had fled New York and was holed up in a $2 million Palm Beach pad on Sandpiper Drive, registered to 66-year old Michael Abtahi. It was unclear whether she was renting out the posh home or staying there under some other arrangement.

Her mother, socialite Susan Bishop, lives nearby, and the brunette party girl has been spotted around the neighborhood.

It was sexy text messages between Woods and Uchitel that reportedly sparked the initial confrontation between the golfer and his wife, Elin Nordegren.

Nordegren escaped to her native Sweden for the Christmas holiday with the couple’s two children, their daughter Sam, 2, and Charlie, who’ll turn 1 in February. In mid-December, Nordegren hired prominent divorce lawyer-to-the-stars Sorrell Trope, signaling she’s likely to divorce her superstar hubby, who was named the Associated Press‘ athlete of the decade weeks after the scandal broke.

Woods has been linked to at least 10 other women with whom he’s rumored to have had affairs.

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From The Smoking Gun.com. The post has been removed from TMZ.com

DECEMBER 28–In a colossal screw-up, the gossip web site TMZ today published a photo purporting to show John F. Kennedy frolicking on a yacht with a harem of naked women–except that the image actually appeared as part of a November 1967 Playboy photo spread, The Smoking Gun has learned. The TMZ hoax was billed as an “exclusive” featuring a photo that “could have altered world events” had it surfaced prior to JFK’s presidential campaign.

“It could have torpedoed his run, and changed world history,” the site added. In reality, the photo appeared in story about Playboy’s “Charter Yacht Party: How to Have a Ball on the Briny with an Able-Bodied Complement of Ship’s Belles.” As seen in the below page from the November 1967 issue, the Playboy photo is in color.

The “Exclusive” TMZ image is the same photo, just reproduced in black and white. [Click here for a side-by-side comparison of the original Playboy photo and the watermarked version published today by TMZ.] According to the web site, the photo was “eventually given to a man who owned a car dealership on the East coast. The man kept it in a drawer for years, and would brag to friends he had an image of JFK on a boat with naked women.

The man died 10 years ago and one of his sons inherited the photo.” The gossip site offered no further details about the photo’s provenance or what they paid for the image. The site noted that “we believe the photo was taken in the mid-1950s,” likely while Kennedy was on a two-week “Mediterranean boating trip” with his brother Ted and Senator George Smathers.

TMZ claimed to have consulted with “multiple experts,” including a forensic photo expert and two unnamed JFK biographers, as it sought to confirm that the late president was photographed surrounded by a quartet of naked women. According to the caption accompanying the Playboy photo spread, four couples were enjoying themselves on a trip to Petit Rameau, an island in the Grenadines. As “Andy” sunned himself on deck, “Elaine” dove naked into the water while “Roxanna” provocatively shimmied up a ladder.

In an interview, Larry Dale Gordon, the Playboy photographer who took the yacht image, said that the man TMZ identified as Kennedy was a “paid model,” as were the naked women featured in the shot.

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In a stunning revelation, Brokencountry.com has learned that President Obama has ordered a special, top secret weapon to combat political enemies like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

The device is said to also provide added security for the president because it is bullet proof and will allow the president to fly away in dangerous situations. “With a simple tilt of the head, the president will be able to fly out of harms way” the anonymous source said. JD

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TMZ.com has posted an interesting picture of John F. Kennedy sunbathing on a boat with naked women on board.   TMZ reports that the picture was taken in the mid 1950’s and that it could have “torpedoed” his chances of ever becoming president.   I looked at this picture and I must say that its hard to tell if that is actually JFK.   What do you think?    JD

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WASHINGTON — Janet Napolitano, the Homeland Security secretary, said on Sunday that there was so far no evidence of a wider terrorist plot in what federal authorities said was an attempt by a 23-year-old Nigerian man to blow up a Detroit-bound Northwest Airlines flight on Christmas Day.

But speaking on CNN’S “State of the Union,” Ms. Napolitano said that the suspect’s claimed ties to Al Qaeda were “part of the criminal justice investigation that is ongoing.”

Although Ms. Napolitano said it would be “inappropriate to speculate” on such ties, a law enforcement official briefed on the investigation over the weekend said that the claims of the suspect, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, were plausible, and that he saw no reason to discount Mr. Abdulmutallab’s account that he had obtained explosive chemicals and a syringe sewn into his underwear from a bomb expert in Yemen associated with Al Qaeda.

Asked if Mr. Abdulmutallab was part of a bigger plot or whether he was a “lone wolf,” Ms. Napolitano replied, “Well, right now, we have no indication that it’s part of anything larger, but obviously the investigation continues.”

Ms. Napolitano was pressed on CNN as well as other Sunday news programs why Mr. Abdulmutallab, whose name was in the American intelligence community’s central repository of information on known or suspected international terrorists, had been allowed to board the trans-Atlantic flight in Amsterdam. Mr. Abdulmutallab, the son of a prominent Nigerian banker, was put in the database last month because his father had recently warned officials at the United States Embassy in Nigeria that he was concerned about his son’s increasingly extremist religious views.

“You have to understand that you need information that is specific and credible if you are going to actually bar someone from air travel,” Ms. Napolitano said on CNN. “He was on a general list, which over half a million people — everybody had access to it. But there was not the kind of credible information, in the sense derogatory information, that would move him up the list.”

Ms. Napolitano said that in the next weeks, federal officials will be “really looking at those watch lists procedures in light of this occurring and saying, ‘OK, do those need to be changed?’ They have been in place for a number of years.”

Mr. Abdulmutallab’s name was inserted in November into the Terrorist Identities Datamart Environment, or Tide, which has about 500,000 registered individuals. A subset of that is the Terrorist Screening Data Base, or T.S.D.B., which has about 400,000 names. Fewer than 4,000 people from the T.S.D.B. list are on a “no-fly” list, and an additional 14,000 are on a “selectee” list that calls for mandatory secondary screening.

At the time that Mr. Abdulmutallab’s name was recorded in the Tide database in November, an Obama administration official said, there was “insufficient derogatory information available” to put him on the T.S.D.B, no-fly or selectee lists, and so he was not on any watch list when he boarded the plane bound for Detroit.

Republicans on Sunday blamed the Obama administration for a lapse in security. “Homegrown terrorism, the threat to the United States, is real,” Representative Pete Hoekstra of Michigan, the top Republican on the House Select Intelligence Committee, said on “Fox News Sunday.” “I think this administration has downplayed it. They need to recognize it, identify it. It is the only way we are going to defeat it.”

Representative Peter King of New York, the ranking Republican on the House Homeland Security Committee, was critical of he Obama administration as well as Ms. Napolitano, who said repeatedly on the Sunday programs that the system had “worked” because passengers jumped on Mr. Abdulmutallab as he tried to ignite a highly explosive powder mixture, PETN, also called pentaerythritol tetranitrate, that he had taped to his leg.

“The fact is the system did not work, and we have to find a bipartisan way to fix it,” Mr. King said on CBS’ “Face the Nation.” “If that had been successful, the plane would have come down and we would have had a Christmas Day massacre with almost 300 people murdered.”

Robert Gibbs, the White House press secretary, said on ABC and NBC that President Obama, who is vacationing in Hawaii, had ordered two reviews, one to look into whether the government did everything it could with the information on Mr. Abdulmutallab, and another on whether revisions are necessary in U.S. security procedures.

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